


The monster I am

by Lightguardian79



Series: Legacy [1]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dark Past, Recovered Memories, Repressed Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 07:06:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17157512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightguardian79/pseuds/Lightguardian79
Summary: Christmas is here and the team organize a part to the WatchtowerEveryone benefits except one person Bart Allen. He think he doesn't deserve it. Dick Grayson and Jaime Reyes try to understand why. Only one of them will know the truth.Later a speedster help Bart to recover some of his memories that he had forgot





	The monster I am

Happy Harbor  
19:45

It was finally December and teens were really excited because of Christmas and the new year. It was the case of the Justice League and the Young Justice. Besides during this period, the vilain stop their stuff, them too take holidays and this please very much the heroes who could pass this moment in family.

This was new for Bart or at least a little but he doesn't know really much about this. So he stayed far away from the team and went outside, he doesn't want to mode them. He went for a walk in Happy Harbor to see how the towns decorated the city. Of course he wasn't like Central City or any big cities but he was amazed by how beautiful was Happy Harbor with all the decorations

"This is so crash" he whispered for himself "Too bad we couldn't do as much as them in the future." A tear rolled on his cheek and he was surprised so he wiped it away before some memories come back.

When he was little in the future his parents do their best with the Resistance to respect this old tradition. It was the only moment they ate more and receive gifts. He shook is head to forget those memories all they were doing was to hurt him because he couldn't share this moment with his family and he doesn't want that the team or the League worried about him.

"Mister are you okay ?" Bart searched with his eyes who asked him this question but he didn't find then he felt something pull the sleeve of his green jacket. He looked down and saw a little girl. He knelt in front of her and pass a hand in her hair  
"Yeah, I'm fine but where is your parents ?" Bart asked  
"There." she pointed with one of her finger "They saw you looked a little depressed so they asked me to cheer you."  
"Well you can tell them thanks you to be concern about me but I don't need to be..." He didn't finish what he said because the little girl kiss him on his cheek before she ran over to her parents.  
"Happy Holidays, sir." she told him

Bart was still surprise by the actions of this girl. Someone snap him of his thoughts, a certain hispanic with a bug on his spine.  
"What are you doing here hermano ?"  
"Hey blue. I just need to take a break from everything.  
_"The Impulse is lying Jaime Reyes_."  
"That I didn't need to know."  
"Oh yeah I shouldn't answer you."  
"Oh Dios mio... No Bart, It was for scarab." explained blue  
"Oh !"  
"But you shouldn't stay here alone, the team make a great party on the Watchtower, you have to see this."  
"What ? Hey wait Jaime, what are you doing ?" Jaime pull his arm and bring him to the closest Zeta tube.  
"There's no way I let you mourn during Christmas, ese. So we're going to the party."  
"Fine but if you release my arm, hermano."

Jaime re!ease Bart arm and went to the Zeta tube.

 

Watchtower  
20:00

**IMPULSE B 0-22  
BLUE BEETLE B 0-21**

"Look who's finally here." comment Tim  
"Yeah sorry Robin but I don't wanted to come alone. So I looked for a certain speedster and he was at Happy Harbor." Blue explained  
"Okay but now you re two are here let me show you at what looks like the tower with all the decorations." told them Garfield with a big smile

For almost one hour Garfield becomes the guide of Bart and Jaime and because he was so much in the character he even detailled what was the christmas tree or the Christmas socket. Jaime him know all those detail but he let Gar spoke but Bart had the chance thanks to BB to understand better what is Christmas.

"Where is the mistletoe ?" asked Jaime  
"I'm not gonna to tell you." answer BB  
"Why ?"  
"Because you'll do everything to avoid this and it wouldn't be fun." Gar exclaimed "Enough talk everyone wait us in the meeting room and Sis cooked."

They rejoined the room and every member was here. The atmosphere was joyful, too much for Bart yet he was smiling most of the time. But what the Justice Leaugue didn't know was that it was a fake smile just like his personnality. He accepted to come only because Jaime asked him to come and Bart wanted to please his bestfriend.

The younger speedster stepped aside and no one notice it. Excepted two: Khaji Da, the scarab attached to Jaime's spine and Nightwing but not as the same time. The first one to remark it was Khaji Da and instantly he told it to Jaime.

_"Jaime Reyes, I inform you that the Impulse seem not happy to be here and decided to depart a little from you and your teammates._  
"What ? But why is doing that ?"  
"I do not have the answer to your question but scans show that earlier the Impulse doesn't want to come."  
"Then why he accept ?"  
"To make you happy Jaime Reyes."  
"Thanks Khaji. I'm gonna to see Bart and talk with him."

Blue discretly slipped out from the little party and joined Bart. He saw the speedster alone on a sofa and next from one of the Zeta tube in the Watchtower.

"Bart, are you fine ?" Jaime asked with a gentle voice  
"I'm crash, her-ma-no." He answered without looking to Jaime, his eyes lost and sad as if Bart was mourning something or someone.  
_"I never see him like this. Scarab what should I do."_  
"Tactic suggested: Talk with the Impulse to know what is his problem and fix him."  
"You can sit, Jaime there's enough place for both of us."  
"Thanks but I want to ask you why you're alone. You're not enjoying the party ?"  
"I don't deserve to be happy or deserve to celebrate something." Bart said, lowering his head  
"No, you're wrong, ese. If someone deserve it, it's you Bart. You came back for me, to save me while killing me would have been easier to prevent the Reach from becoming the masters of the Earth."  
"What do you really know about me, Jaime ? You think I was always the person you know all ? You think I deserve to be happy just because I prevent aliens to dominate the world ? You're the one who's wrong about everything. Save the world is maybe heroic but that doesn't erase all the things I've done before or my mistakes. I know one who must be happy to know all the things I've done and what I call mistakes, he calls them successes but Barry would be probably more of the same opinion as me." Bart shouted, standing his eyes reflected fear.  
"Bart I don't understand what you're explain but I don't care. I'm happy that you come for me." Jaime said, his hands now on Bart's shoulders.  
"I'm not a hero." Bart whispered "I probably have more bad blood than hero blood."  
"Don't say that hermano."   
  
Suddenly Jaime wrapped Bart in a hug. The speedster was surprise and he didn't return the hug. He even did the opposite, he took Jaime away from him.  
_"The Impulse do not want to be hugged, he has to be terminate, Jaime Reyes_." adviced Khaji Da  
_"No we don't do anything to hurt Bart !"_  
"I'm sorry Blue but..." Bart was interrupted by Cassie.  
"I wonder where you were guys Nightwing leave the party and Batman is gonna to...... OH MY GOD !" she said happily  
"What's wrong Cass ?" asked Bart  
"Look over your heads." said Cassie excited  
"Dios mio... Don't tell me that  _this_  is just over us and we have to _do it_  in front of you"  
"You're do it or I call all the team."  
"You have no choice Jaime Reyes, you have to kiss the Impulse, it's the tradition."  
"No need to recall me, Khaji."  
"Do w-" Bart try to ask but he was cut mid sentence by Jaime who was kissing him. Next to them Cassie was fangirling and she enjoyed all the seconds before Jaile break it.  
"Lo siento, Bart. But we have to do it."  
"You know you weren't obligate to do it so long." Remarked Wonder Girl  
"Wait for how long I kiss Bart ?"  
"Actually one minute, Jaime Reyes." answered Khaji  
"What ? And you don't stop us ?"  
"You seem to enjoy it." smirked Cassie  
"Bart don't listen.... her ?" he wanted to said but Bart was gone and just after he turned around to see where he was, he heard the mecanical voice.

**IMPULSE B 0-22**

Cassie and Jaime look to each other they didn't understand why the youngest speedster left and they hoped than everyone was concentrated on Batman.

 

****

Central City  
22:00

Bart understand why Jaime kiss him it was because of the tradition of mistletoe but he had to do it only for less than ten seconds but no one minute. For him, it was hell because he love Jaime and not on the friend way. He want to be with him, stay with Jaime but he can't not after what he he has done in the future.

Bart doesn't want to break Jaime's feelings but when Bart look at himself in the mirror, the only thing he see it's a monster. He killed people in the future, of course he killed Reach soldiers but he killed humans. Someone snapped it from his thoughts by grabbing him one of his arm. He turned around and saw it was Nightwing unmasked, still with his suit but unmasked.

"Dick, what are you doing to Central ?" Bart asked  
"I saw you slipped out from the party earlier and I wanted to talk to you in private but Jaime goes first. I knew it was just a question of time before you left the Watchtower so.."  
"So you leave it before I'll do it and since you waited me to return to Central." finished Bart and Dick nodded "I don't know what you want to talk but I'm tired. Can we do this later ?" demanded Bart.  
"We both know you're not tired, Bart. You just search a pretext to avoid subjects. We're here to help you, I'm here to help you."  
"You know what will help me, Nightwing ? That you let me go." Bart growled  
"I just want to talk, Bart, no fighting. Only both of us, no Batman or Miss Martian."  
".....Fine but not here."  
"In front of the Flash museum ?" suggest Dick. He didn't see the answer of Bart because the speedster pick him and run the fastest he could until they arrived to the Flash museum.  
"So what do you want to talk ?"  
"About the future. I heard your conversation with Blue and when Cassie interrupt you I left but there a few thing I didn't understand. For example you say you don't deserve to be happy or to celebrate something." explained the former Robin

At the mention of this part, Bart lowered his head and look his feet, he feel ashame.  
"Dick, You don't know what you're asking me.." said Bart, tears filling his eyes  
"This is the kind of secrets we try to avoid Bart because we know they eating you and the team. I know you came from a horrible future but what you saw there you need to talk about it here."  
"It's not really what I saw that I would like to erase but rather what I did, even though both are horrible."  
"Tell me both."  
"You know that the Reach made experiment on those who had the metagene. Well I was one of their prisoner, they test all my powers and how long I could hold with food. But some of the metahumans loose their sanity and their reason and they become crazy. True monsters that the Reach free on Earth. The only place you where safe was on their camp. Those who loose their humanity killed humans and Reach soldiers and they.... they...."  
"And they what ?"  
"... eat them"

Dick couldn't believe what the youngest speedster had just said. Humans enough crazy to eat innocent peoples.  
"Okay that one thing and the other."  
"I killed many Reach soldiers and the Failures."  
"Failures ?"  
"Those who loose all notion of humanity, that's how the Reach calls them. I killed so many of them but the worst thing is the first time I kill someone, I like it, I feel good, Dick and I feel so happy to kill someone each time I killed whether it was a Reach or one of the Failures and if I didn't kill them with one blow, I was happy to see them suffer, to torture them especially the Reach. I'm a monster among the monsters. No I'm worst, I shouldn't exist. That's why I have no right to be happy, Richard."

No one call him Richard since a while but Dick doesn't care, the kid need a hug but he saw Bart rejected the hug from Jaime. So he didn't do anything he just let the boy cry. He probably think the same thing of him if he was Bart. But there's still a question on Dick's mind.  
"Does Jaime know that ?"  
"NO AND HE MUST NEVER KNOW !" yelled Bart on his nervs, he gripped Dick by the collar "If for whatever reason he know it, I will make you regret it."  
"Calm down, Bart but I promise you I'll never tell him." when he said that, Bart took a few step back and fall on his knees and he cry more louder and has difficulties to breath. "Hey Bart, calm down all of this is over, this future would never happen."  
"It's not that, I.. I threated you Dick and when I told that I.. I saw what I've done to all the persons I torture and just after.. you were at their place. I'm a monster"

This time the kid really need a hug so whatever it takes, Dick decided to hug him even if he has to fight against Bart. But the boy didn't do anything when Nightwing wrap into a hug.  
"You love him do you ?" he felt Bart nodded "but you don't want to tell him ?" Once again, Bart give a positive answer "Why ?"  
"Because when he was put on the mode I thought to torture him like the version of his future did to me and like I did with the Reach soldiers. But this time I have the possibility to do it because he wasn'ts bigger as the one on my future. I wanted to hurt him badly, Dick even kill him. And this thought comes back several time but where she was most tempting and I almost dit it was when we went to Qurac to free him." Bart explained  
"How do you know when you're gonna to hurt someone ?"  
"I sense shiver in my body but there's a exterior sign, my eyes turn gold and before you asked it gold was the color of my mom's eyes."  
"Thank you for telling me this Bart. It will be our secret not even Bruce will know. You can go to your home."  
"Thank you Dick." and Bart left Dick alone

 

At the Garricks house  
23:00

When Bart arrived to the Garricks, he saw that all the light was off so he decided to go in his room by the window and vibrated. Once in his room, he instantly layed on his bed, more tired because he cried.

"I never thought you'll become a true Thawne." says a voice coming from his desk  
"What are you doing here, Zoom ?"  
"For you, young man it's grandpa Thawne or Eobard. I won't tolerate that my only grandson see me like an enemy."  
"You're not my grandpa." hissed Bart  
"You're in denial, grandson but you finally understand one thing and I'm proud of you."  
"Understand... one thing ?" asked Bart, raising an eyebrow. Thawne approached the bed and sat up at the edge. Bart didn't know if he has to listen him or run and prevent Barry that the Reverse Flash is here. He decided to stay and if he has enough he run even if he knows he don't have a single chance against Thawne.  
"You have understood that the Thawnes can't love, that this emotion is just an illusion and even if we love someone, this person doesn't know what we are."  
"Are you spying me ?" Bart asked, thinking at his discussion with Nightwing  
"I prefer to be sure that my heir isn't friend with our common enemy. Although this time I may be able to make an exception." A evil smile appeared on Zoom's face  
"What do you mean ?" asked Bart suspicious  
"You fall in love with the third Blue Beetle, Jaime Reyes and you wanted to kill him do you remember why ?"   
"It's because in the future Blue Beetle tortured me, he laughed when I cried and enjoyed to see me suffer." Bart answered but hesitantly  
"In general, you answer every time this but my question has raised doubts in your mind and you are right to be unsure of your answer." explained Thawne to his grandson  
"Then why did I want to end his life ?"  
"The reason is more deeper than you think and she is more personal but I'm not surprise you don't remember you were 6 and it was a shock for you. It even broke you but it also unleashed a power greater than the Reach could have imagined which is why they put you in the quarantine zone and you were chained up."  
"You're off topic, Thawne."  
"There's been some progress, grandson but like you said I'm off topic."  
"Then tell me why I did-" Bart started but he couldn't finished because Thawne was now behind him.   
"Zoom put a hand through Bart's hair and made a comment "Your hairs are like hers."  
_Hers ?_  thought Bart.  
Eobard whispered something in Bart ear and the eyes of the young speedster opened widely "Meloni Thawne, my precious daughter and your mother also as Thaddeus Thawne, your twin brother were kill by Blue Beetle the same day."  
  
Long-forgotten memories from the future have resurfaced in Bart's mind. Those memories concern his mother and his brother and they hurted him so much that the young speedster held his head between his hands. But where is the pain was too intense was when he remembered the death of his brother and his mother.  
  
"PLEASE, JAIME DON'T DO IT." he screamed.Unintentionally the boy activate the distress signal that each member of the Young Justice had on them. Eobard realized it, so he took out a syringe and pricked Bart on the neck.  
"I'm sorry grandson but we don't have much time before Flash arrived and we have work to do."  
"Grandpa....Barry.... Night....wing....help me." Bart said slowly under the effect of the syringe. His vision blurred and he collapsed on the ground. Thawne took Bart and hold him over his shoulder then they disappeared  
  


Dick being the closest was the first to arrived followed by Flash a few seconds later  
"Where is he ? Where's Bart ?" asked Barry  
"Not here anymore but his kidnapper left a hint and I can affirm when you'll see it you understand who was here with Bart." answered Nightwing, staring something on Bart's desk.  
  
Barry approach the desk and when he saw the paper, Dick placed a hand on Barry's shoulder "We're gonna to find Impulse and bring him back before he hurt him."

 

Barry nodded but left the room. Dick stared once again to the paper: A paper with the Flash insignia but reversed


End file.
